the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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