she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
