i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
