I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
