Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
