Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
