HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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