Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
