i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
