she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
