After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
