Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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