you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize