I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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