im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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