chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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