Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
