if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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