Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
