there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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