Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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