I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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