evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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