My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize