You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
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i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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