You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
