walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
