whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
