you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
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You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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