Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
