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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I love sluts.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I end my prayers with that every single night.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it

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• (214): View more from Texas

  he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar

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• (823): View more from

  Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?

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• (607): View more from New York

  I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Or a taco

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up

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• (909): View more from California

  An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because she offered to bring a keg.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me

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