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• (248): View more from Michigan

  So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...

  (703): View more from Virginia

  oh

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• (310): View more from California

  Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

  (207): View more from Maine

  OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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• (718): View more from New York

  "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool

  (386): View more from Florida

  It could be our claim to fame

  (904): View more from Florida

  Done. I'll pack a cooler.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?

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• 

  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  When was that?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.

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• (914): View more from New York

  My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

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• (716): View more from New York

  My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.

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