gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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