Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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  (541): He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes http://tfl.nu/g6v6
  Replies (19) Good night (734) Bad night (3662)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh yeah that.

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  (781): WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? (339): Oh yeah that. http://tfl.nu/clil
  Replies (50) Good night (2142) Bad night (5370)
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  (212): View more from New York

  It's never good when you wake up covered with burns

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  (212): It's never good when you wake up covered with burns http://tfl.nu/8fkk
  Replies (15) Good night (823) Bad night (4040)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

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  (618): i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything http://tfl.nu/e4ud
  Replies (8) Good night (3805) Bad night (1214)
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  (310): View more from California

  If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?

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  (310): If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement? http://tfl.nu/kphp
  Replies (6) Good night (5395) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.

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  (404): Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs. http://tfl.nu/4a67
  Replies (18) Good night (6001) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

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  (707): come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/6h34
  Replies (17) Good night (2184) Bad night (2641)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal

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  (812): They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal http://tfl.nu/sgdn
  Replies (4) Good night (2097) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.

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  (406): sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of. http://tfl.nu/ki5k
  Replies (5) Good night (1657) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?

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  (305): My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/9kst
  Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.

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  (909): I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today. http://tfl.nu/n0ax
  Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (557)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.

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  (701): Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves. http://tfl.nu/z6ix
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.

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  (954): He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around. http://tfl.nu/uxp2
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.

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  (281): So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square. http://tfl.nu/ezqk
  Replies (4) Good night (375) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying

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  (248): the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying http://tfl.nu/i480
  Replies (8) Good night (326) Bad night (352)

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