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I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Randomize
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