Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  hahaha! you have a girlfriend

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...

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  (520): hahaha! you have a girlfriend (1-520): tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today... http://tfl.nu/4wx1
  Replies (20) Good night (4363) Bad night (1309)
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  (310): View more from California

  I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.

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  (310): I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen. http://tfl.nu/puzs
  Replies (27) Good night (965) Bad night (11096)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...

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  (781): I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer... http://tfl.nu/rcmz
  Replies (22) Good night (2815) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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  (780): Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top? http://tfl.nu/gcls
  Replies (47) Good night (1337) Bad night (6839)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.

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  (410): I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me. http://tfl.nu/7cby
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (1943)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"

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  (936): the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?" http://tfl.nu/8dlf
  Replies (11) Good night (4755) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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  (905): was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree? http://tfl.nu/357c
  Replies (6) Good night (1947) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.

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  (760): I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant. http://tfl.nu/boqw
  Replies (11) Good night (4082) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?

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  (716): Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle? http://tfl.nu/rwr7
  Replies (17) Good night (1277) Bad night (3177)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.

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  (253): If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/jc0t
  Replies (15) Good night (3285) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (637): View more from

  I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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  (637): I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night http://tfl.nu/nv4l
  Replies (0) Good night (1216) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!

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  (209): Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology! http://tfl.nu/c0oh
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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  (570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/3oup
  Replies (6) Good night (569) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me

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  (256): I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me http://tfl.nu/47hs
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.

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  (404): Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip. http://tfl.nu/cx8v
  Replies (2) Good night (204) Bad night (509)

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