If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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