I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
