she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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