I'm really into asian looking animals
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
