i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
