Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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