Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
