lets start a swedish sibling band together
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
