the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
