drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She said her name was "party"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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