Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
