first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
