i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
