Nicole vs. Life
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
