How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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