can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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