You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
