I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
