This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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