apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
