Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
