Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
