you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
