Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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