drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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