First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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