my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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