you will always have a special place in my vag
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize