Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
