my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
