All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have feelings that need drinking.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
