I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
