halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
