I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Houston, we have a blender
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
