Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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