If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
